yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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