i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
