I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
