i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
