I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
