he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dicks are not precious.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
