WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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