If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
