is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
