I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize