He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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