Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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