Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
