I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
