you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
