A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He? As in you personified your dick?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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