I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
