Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
