some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
