she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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