Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
