Apparently you make a good broom.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
