I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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