she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
