The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
