also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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