Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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