Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
