goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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