The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
