I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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