Small penises have feelings too.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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