your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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