they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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