you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
