walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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