i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
