I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
