the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
