They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
