and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
