We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
