Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
