He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
