I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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