reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
