About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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