I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
