windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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