Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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