I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
