she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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