i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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