My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
